I do want her to come out because.... I can not wait to see what she looks like, cuddle her warm soft body against mine, feeling the immense love I know I will feel for her. Watch her grow through all the stages...into a beautiful woman
BUT...
I don't want her to come out becasue there is side that is scared, scared and anxious, and excited to deliver her. How will it happen? When will it happen? And then there is that other side that is sad to have her leave my body knowing this will be the last time I will feel the sweet movements of another with in me. This has been my hardest pregnancy by far, but the miracle and amazing feeling of it all will be missed!
I was talking with a friend the other day about how surreal having a child is. We both joked how when they lay that little alien thing on your belly, we are both feeling this shocked feeling and then it hits us, "THAT'S WHAT IVE BEEN DOING THESE LAST NINE MONTHS, OK CRY TIME TO CRY"
So here is my official statistical update: (this is the ooey gooey details)
-2 cm dilated
-90% effaced (she called it a pushing cervix)
-been nauseous for the past 4 days
- been spotting all day today after she checked me
- just normal braxton hicks, a few are crampy every now and then(mostly at night)
-lost 2 lbs. since last visit! whhoo hooo
I told the doctor I went into this pregnancy being very against induction, but after watching my sister's nearly puuuuuuurrrrfect, nearly painless induction PLUS how uncomfortable and sleepy I am.....Let's just say I almost let her strip my membranes today. WOW! And for those of you that know me, that's pretty desperate, because they stripped my membranes with Ryan and that led to my horrible induction....
She was actually the one that decided against it, saying I might regret it later, and the far far dusty pre-pregnancy part of my brain had to agree with her. She said she would induce me at 40 weeks, BUT she really didn't think I would make it that long......I'm worried she may have jinxed me.
Well to be continued.....
3 comments:
Hang in there girl! All good things come to those who wait :)...I wish I could be there for ya...please keep me updated.
I soooo wish I looked like that at 38 weeks! You look great! I so understand the anxiety and excitement you feel. You will be holding that sweet little girl before you know it! :)
Induce, induce, induce!! When you are that far dilated, it will be no time before the epidural- hardly any pain!! You can do it!!
Can't wait to see pics and hear more!! good luck darling!!
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